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October 16, 2012
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I can hear the music,
playing in my head...
That brick wall melody,
that leaves me dry and bled.

Back out, unsound, way past
The naive embrace,
clutched like the withering vine,
so doubted in commonplace.

That sorrowful harmony,
with mysterious limbs
running like mad
through my mind, so dim with fog.

In my wake do I hear that music
of the morbid and downtrodden sound...
Sweet, the symphony of my imagination...
the chaos, although so profound.

Stained, my face with the misery
Of this occupation of thought,
not much, yet the burdens are stiff
within the acidic net, am I forever caught.
When the mind is broken, sanity is just a few locked doors away.


Picture credit: [link]
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:iconromana201:
Romana201 Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is a beautiful piece. I really enjoyed it.
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:icongrubbswriting:
GrubbsWriting Oct 19, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you!
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:iconromana201:
Romana201 Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're quite welcome.
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:iconfahmy-hady:
Fahmy-Hady Oct 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
the chaos, although so profound. :)
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:iconinview:
this is a great poem :D
"That sorrowful harmony,
with mysterious limbs
running like mad
through my mind, so dim with fog"

I love the images i get from these lines
and the use of personification to capture these images :D
well WELL done!
Reply
:iconwisty101:
Wisty101 Oct 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I like the pic more than the poem! I think I would have used different words in the final and second verses! I loved the third verse though!
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:iconreiska:
I like the verse.

Burdens...

There are no burdens except those that you choose to place upon yourself.
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:iconmusango:
Musango Oct 16, 2012  Student Writer
This is amazing! Your images are vivid and your rhyme scheme flows really well... Very well written! I know how deeply personal poetry is so I always hesitate before offering criticism, but there is a place where the rhythm seems a bit clunky... "running like mad
through my mind, with fog so dim"could maybe be reworded to something like, "... Running through my mind/with (...) fog so dim"?just a thought... But as I said, great job and well written :)
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:iconirelelengar:
IrelElengar Oct 16, 2012  Student Writer
I love this!
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