literature

Playing With One's Food

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GrubbsWriting's avatar
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Literature Text

  I write these words with tears depleting from my bloodshot eyes, by the dim light of the stars and the moon, upon a piece of paper I managed by luck to find. My efforts have been more than human nature would normally allow, yet the results are not as I predicted, favorable. I've not slept in days, and I now hide from what I pray are mere hallucinations brought about my forced insomnia. I never knew how utterly terrifying this journey would become, nor could I have ever predicted it. To whomever finds this note, chances are that it's far too late for you.

  He begins with the sleep, and uses that as a means to make you more of the likes of a beast. It is for whatever reason, that this fancies him and his desire...it matters not where you hide, you cannot stay there for long...he can smell you, hear you, feel your very being from quite some distance.

  The mind of a human is his most favored plaything...he will warp and tease it with the likes of starvation, dehydration and a fine lack of rest...his patience is limited but broad...simply playing with his live food, as what I have called his laughter, echoes through this wretched forest...

  He moves quick and without hesitation...without even the slightest hint of exhaust. I only remember the eyes, glowing like nearby stars with a more than sinister glare...i knew not that they were the eyes of my hunter...i merely thought my gaze had fixed upon Orion's Belt as i looked up through the trees...then his head tilted and i knew...and when I saw from a short distance as he stood and made himself known to me, only the shadow of nightmare was revealed....an outline of a beast far from human...limbs like branches, long and powerful. I could only say his head was like that of something not an animal nor a man...

  No pity finds him...nor rest...nor mercy...only bloodlust and pleasure. He need not feed like we do, nor sleep or catch his breath. I write this only to tell you, dear friend, of what you face...I know nothing more, I'm afraid. At this moment, he is likely to be watching me, waiting to take my li
I'm using this as sort of a starting chapter for a new horror novel I'm writing, so please let me know what y'all think!
© 2013 - 2024 GrubbsWriting
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GuinevereToGwen's avatar
A critique by a member of Holmes' Consultants:
This was chilling, a very, very good job. I'm not normally a fan of horror, but this definitely got me excited! First, the ending is brilliant. Not much more to say.
This piece flows very well, I love your writing style. I also like the story.
One thing, though: If this is a note that your character is writing, I think that he would use a lot less ellipses. It would work well if he were telling the story, but when you're writing, especially if you're in a hurry, you wouldn't use ellipses.
Anyway, other than that, this was amazing!