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April 12, 2012
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Children are but of course the future of civilization in the flesh. The psychology of these little people is imperative to our growth and progress, therefore the concept of bad parenting is enough to start all sorts of feuds between people. Constantly you will hear "Think of the children!" in today's world in matters of domestic conflict, therefore I have tasked myself with coming up with my own solution to bad parenting.
As a human being, it is natural for me to be annoyed by the various types of people that my personality permits me to hate. My first instinct is of course not to kill them, but to get away from them as quickly as possible. However, dealing with idiots in my line of work (entertainment and protection) is almost completely inevitable. At my current place of occupation, I am tasked with dealing with families and parties. Often, I am faced with stupid questions and requests such as "Can I take my beer onto the roller coaster simulation?" or "Why can't little Johnny play laser tag? So what if he's only half a foot shorter than the limit!" It is mostly the so called "parents" that I have an issue with, as I normally love children. Their optimism and curiosity for the world around them fascinates me, but when I see the failed excuses for parental figures, however when it is the children whom annoy me, I can only imagine giving them a good little nudge at the top of some stairs…Otherwise, I take the utmost pity on the children, and wonder how dark their future shall be. Psychological development at an early age is severely important, and even the slightest mistakes can and will be paid for later on in life.
As said before, the slightest mistake in the early part of one's mental development has the potential to bring them to some sort of ruin at one point or another in their lives. For example, according to Dr. Alice G. Walton has compiled a basic list of twelve things that you should never do to your young child. One is to never threaten to abandon them when they won't leave a place that they enjoy being in (i.e. a playground) otherwise they will develop serious issues with attachment or the lack thereof, which in turn could affect their family, school, social and love lives later on. Another example is to never lie to them, especially about how they feel, "Mommy I'm scared to go there!" "Oh, no you're not; you're just being silly…" So basically you're telling them how they feel when really you have little to no idea how they feel. Their brains will realize this, whether it is then or later, and it is possible for them to become either very rebellious or very shy and easily manipulated later on. The basic solution is this: Treat your child with the respect that you in turn expect from them, protect them, teach them, and love them with as much passion as you can muster, but of course, do not shelter them from the world and coddle them with the "happy flowers and fluffy kittens" mentality. Open their eyes, but guide them and put them at ease with love and advice. To assist new parents or potential parents, mandatory classes will be created to teach them everything from basic bottle feeding to why "please don't hit me daddy!" is a justified response. Parents who do not comply or fail these classes will not be allowed to have or keep their children until they do, or until the child is old enough to make the decision themselves. Put simply, you must have a license to have and raise children. All of the money to the classes provided will go into the educational system to better pay of faculty members and school funds.
  Also, parents will be required to take them on a "field trip" of some kind at least once a week. Examples of places to go are as follows: the zoo, night clubs, hockey game, or UFC fights. I also have various training courses for disgruntle little spawns whom naturally cannot obey or follow the obligatory rules of their parents. In partnership with the United States Navy SEALs, I have designed a sort of boot camp for kids. If they can walk and talk, then they're old enough. They will be put through all the same exercises that the average SEALs are put through, and those who do not survive will merely be deemed as failed victims of natural selection.

As far as punishments for parents go, the ethical standards will be based on an "eye for an eye" basis. Parents who beat their children will in turn be beaten within an inch of their lives by various blunt objects. Parents and adults who sexually abuse their children will be "sexually abused" by what large and intimidating creature with pulse that the authorities can find (Human or animal, depending on the severity of the abuse). Parents who use their children for crimes, or who manipulate them into committing crimes will empty their bank accounts by giving the money to less fortunate families. The list goes on of course, but these are the bigger punishments concerning the abuse of children, however the universal punishment for any of child related crime will result in either fines or the loss of the license to parent. So it all comes to: treat your kid right, and all is well. Treat them wrong, and we will bring you to ruin. All of this will be a part of a massive psychological study that will be used to build and raise the perfect children. They will be examined by pediatric psychologists on a weekly basis.
Put simply, I only mean well for everyone to benefit, even if it is by means of suffering as a society until we are one day forged into a great world, where the children have been raised in a correct and meaningful way. Out of this, we will see a better society as a whole in the long run. Eventually, everyone will be on the right track and then we can focus on bigger issues like war or the economy. As for a conclusion, let us conclude horrific parenting once and for all!   ᵢViva La Revoluciónᵎ and bacon!
:icongrubbswriting:
An essay I wrote for English 4 as a reference to "A Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift.
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:iconstilltheman:
Mood: Doubtful ~Stilltheman Apr 13, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Ok I read to the end, lol… WOW! Are you a parent? Or are you expressing your concern / creative writing skills via medium? Ok too many questions, sorry! Please forgive me I have one more question (ok not but): When the government takes over parenting, what good will they do the children, if it's not for it's own ends? I mean do you not foresee the government snatching that opportunity up so quickly because they no longer have to via the parents to get to their children? Once the children belong to the state - what then? I imagine a government slogan like: Parents bad! Government GOOD!" But then again maybe the issue of morality (i.e. right and wrong is bigger and by far far more reaching than we care to admit). A famous questions springs to my mind? How do you educate children without God? How do you help them understand wholesome authority and how most of all do you tell them the governments right, when the same (worldwide) government is only concerned about (oil, money, votes, staying in power, zero concern for the environment/future, zero accountability, capitalism and taxes. I know you'll say the government is elected by parents (and non parents alike) but the issue is "who really has the appropriate laws by which children can be raised" so we can protect the future.
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:icongrubbswriting:
~GrubbsWriting Apr 13, 2012  Professional Writer
and no, I'm not a parent, I'm only 18 haha
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:icongrubbswriting:
~GrubbsWriting Apr 13, 2012  Professional Writer
It's a satire, although I'd like to see better parenting, I would never condone these kinds of "solutions".
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